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wisdom work

Remember the separation of tasks (Or, It is not my job to make you like me)

After getting reamed via a late night email by a parent of a child enrolled in the free writing workshop I offer for children, I sighed. Clearly this person has forgotten the important rule of being sane: the separation of tasks. To enable us all to keep that important principle in mind, here are some choice passages from The Courage To Be Disliked:

  • Other people are not living to satisfy your expectations.
  • Intervening in other people’s tasks and taking on other people’s tasks turns one’s life into something heavy and full of hardships. Learn the boundary of ‘From here on, that is not my task.’ And discard other people’s tasks. That is the first step toward lightening the load and making life simpler.
  • All that you can do with regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in. On the other hand, what kind of judgment do other people pass on that choice? That is the task of other people, and it is not a matter you can do anything about.
  • It isn’t your job to be liked by people at the place you work.
  • Do not intervene in other people’s tasks, or even allow a single person to intervene in one’s own tasks. We are trying to talk about freedom.
  • –Quotes from The Courage To Be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga (New York: Simon and Schuster, 2013), pp. 129-132.
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