battling cynicism, starting with me (w/thanks to Emerson

It is hard to keep your head up, remain optimistic, and have faith in our fellow human beings when you read the daily newspaper. That is why I drink my coffee with wise voices from the past, and merely glance through the news. (No imminent end, good.)

This morning, my gloom has been accompanied by Ralph Waldo Emerson. He just inspired me to stop spending money on Etsy ads (screw you, Etsy), stop feeling guilty over rebuffing an obnoxious person who can’t take a hint (screw you, DS), and kick aside my usual low-grade depression. Must remember this feeling, and combat the darkness. Fight back. Give a shit.

What the hell do I care. Read on if you dare. Take it to heart if you’re really brave, if you think you can. And don’t tell me what you think. Just do your own life and get off the internet asap!

“Expect me not to show cause why I seek or why I exclude company.

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady.

Few and mean as my gifts may be, I actually am, and do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows any secondary testimony.

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great [wo]man is [s]he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance,” Essays: First Series in The Selected Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson, ed. Brooks Atkinson (New York: The Modern Library, 1968), 149-150.

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the strangeness of eleven: on Bachelard, attics, and a “Night” pillow

Eleven days is a strange amount
You’re kind of in and kind of out
Living in limbo round people and stuff
Stuff is easy, people are tough.

 

boxes boxes everywhere and not a sheet to write

Nice discoveries, love renewed.

a reminder of calm

I love this little room with its sunny windows, blue walls, and cozy feel. Here is Gaston Bachelard on attics, from The Poetics of Space:

“Up near the roof all our thoughts are clear. In the attic it is a pleasure to see the bare rafters of the strong framework. Here we participate in the carpenter’s solid geometry. … The dreamer constructs and reconstructs the upper stories and the attic until they are well constructed. when we dream of the heights we are in the rational zone of intellectualized projects. But for the cellar…” – Gaston Bachelard, The Poetics of Space, p. 39.

Bachelard on the way space absorbs emotion, solitude, and creativity

“All the spaces of our past moments of solitude, the spaces in which we have suffered from solitude, enjoyed, desired, and compromised solitude, remain indelible within us, and precisely because the human being wants them to remain so. He knows instinctively that this space identified with his solitude is creative; that even when it is forever expunged from the present, when, henceforth, it is alien to all the promises of the future, even when we no longer have a garret, when the attic room is lost and gone, there remains the fact that we once loved a garret, once lived in an attic. We return to them in our night dreams. These retreats have the value of a shell.

In the past, the attic may have seemed too small, it may seemed cold in winter and hot in summer. Now, however, in memory recaptured through daydreams, it is hard to say through what syncretism the attic is at once small and large, warm and cool, always comforting.”

–The Poetics of Space, 32.

***

A pillow is born!

In this time of extreme agility and movement, of seeing people and dealing with stuff, quite a paradoxical effect has arisen. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or tired, I’ve had so much energy and creativity.

I’m happy to announce that a new Tranquility Pillow is born:  “Night”

(prototype forthcoming)

imagine this:

the Zen message: “Even when we enter disturbed waters, we can still align with the moon, until such time when we can see it directly.”

a pillow front of navy cotton in sky-with-gold-stars fabric

a Big poofy yellow or white satin Moon, a crescent moon

Waves in black, purple, navy and white or yellow satin, velours and flannel all rippling and converging on a distant horizon

detachable fabric “Stars” (instead of the original “Leaves”), but with a difference!

Instead of two leaves, this model has three. Three Stars to communicate your feelings. One in yellow satin (with “scary” back), one with pinkish satin (“soothing” back) and a third “Freak Out” Star with nightmare “scary” fabric on both sides. Perhaps this soft object might help teens and children express their feelings, is what I’m thinking… in this time of copycat suicides, it is crucial to act. When the nightmare’s on both sides of your imagination, you let it be known!

p.s. To the solitary reader: if you’re terribly sad or lonely, feeling hopeless, and you cannot afford one of my pillows, just let me know:  juliawsea@gmail.com. I’ll send you one for the price of postage alone.